alright guys, not INTENSE, but pretty rad :) the lyrics to “Kennedy” are in this chapter, read up loves!
“I’m here K105.7 Mega Hit Mix with recording artist Britta,” the radio announcer called into the microphone, “she’s gonna be here for a while folks, talking about her new album, playing us some stuff, and answering your questions personally. Let’s get this party started!”
I was sitting in the radio booth at K105.7 in LA, it was the last day of the two week radio tour and the calendar had finally turned to December.
“Well Britta, welcome!” the second announcer smiled at me, I later learned their names were Josh and Riley, and they were really nice.
“Thank you so much,” I smiled into the microphone, “it’s great to be here.” Eric sat beside me with a headset on too, in case someone asked him a question, or if he wanted to say something on air.
“So,” Josh turned towards me, “let’s talk about your new album.”
“Well, it comes out tomorrow,” I laughed, “and I’m really excited.”
“Tomorrow? Well that is exciting,” Josh smiled, “are you having a release party?”
“Oh you bet,” I replied, “it’s tonight, we’re celebrating at midnight, kinda like New Year’s coming early.”
“That’s awesome,” Riley exclaimed, “so what kinda stuff’s on your album.”
“Well most of it’s like normal pop-rock, and some’s a little slower,” I explained.
“Well I have a track list right here,” Josh picked up a piece of paper, “I’ll read one and you tell me a little something about it, sound good?”
“Sounds great,” I replied sitting up in my seat.
“Alright, number one,” Josh read, “Kennedy.”
“Are you Kennedy?” Riley asked Eric.
He laughed, “no, my names Eric.”
“Kennedy’s my ex,” I explained, “it’s a breakup song.”
“Oh I see,” Riley replied embarrassed.
“So ‘Kennedy’ was your first single on iTunes,” Josh jumped in, “and I hear you get some very positive feedback.”
“Yeah,” I smiled, “people really liked it.”
“So the song is literally how you broke up?” Josh asked.
“No, well it originally started as a love song,” I began explaining, “but we broke up before I finished writing the song, so I switched a few words around and finished it as a breakup tune.”
“I see,” Josh shook his head.
“It’s not like an ‘I hate you’ song, it’s an ‘I’ll miss but we’re over’ song,” I explained.
“Well you’re gonna have to play it later for us then,” Riley smiled.
“That’d be fun,” I smiled.
“Alright, next song,” Josh looked back down at the paper, “The Only One.”
“I love that song,” I gushed, “I wrote it with John Ohh from The Maine back when we were on tour.”
“That’s what you guys were writing?” Eric asked surprised.
“Yeah, what’d you think we were doing silly?” I replied.
“I have no idea actually, I’m just used to John doing odd things,” he laughed.
“John actually helped me a lot on this song,” I went back to explaining, “it’s about loving someone and it’s obvious to everyone except the person you love.”
“Sounds pretty sweet,” Josh stuck out his bottom lip and shook his head, “next one, Without You.”
“Another breakup song,” I laughed, “this one saying, ‘hey I’m not doing so badly without you’”
“I like the sound of that,” Riley winked.
Josh read through a few more songs and I explained the meaning of each, he stopped when he got to “As Sweet As Sunday.”
“This is the song you recorded with Taylor Swift right?” he asked.
“Yes it is!” I smiled, “she’s the nicest person I’ve ever met.”
“Well we’ve got ‘As Sweet As Sunday’ here and we’re gonna play it…now!” Josh flipped a button on the board and quickly called into the microphone, “when we get back Britta’s going to be answering your questions on air, so call us up!” he announced the number and clicked off the microphone.
“So,” he began, “after the questions, would like to do a live performance?”
“That’d be wonderful,” I smiled, “what song?”
“We were thinking one of the two singles, ‘Shadow’ or ‘Kennedy’,” he replied.
I looked over at Eric, he was staring down at the table his eyes looking tired, I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but singing ‘Kennedy’ would be a big thing, since it was my first single. I cleared my throat,
“I guess I’ll do ‘Kennedy’,” I replied, “but one condition.”
Josh wrinkled his brow, “what’s the condition?”
“Eric has to play it with me,” I looked over at him and smiled, “you know it on guitar right?”
“Yeah I do,” Eric replied, “but you should play it, it’s your song.”
“No, I want you to,” I put my sad puppy face on, “please lovey.”
Eric cracked a smile, “fine.”
“Yay!” I exclaimed.
Josh got up and grabbed Eric a guitar, “will this do?” he asked handing it to him.
“It’s great thanks,” Eric held the guitar and strummed a few chords.
The song ended and Josh clicked the microphones back on, “and we’re back!” he announced. He flipped open a laptop, “we’ve been asking people for a few days to post questions for Britta on the website, and you can call in now, let’s get this going.”
I watched as the phone lit up, “our first caller!” Josh exclaimed and hit ‘talk’, “hello, you’re on with Josh and Riley, what’s your name, where you’re calling from, and your question for Britta?”
“Hi!” the voice squeaked, “My names Brooke, and I’m calling from San Francisco, and my question is; what was your major inspiration for writing this album?”
“Hi Brooke,” I smiled into the microphone, “I guess you could say my biggest inspiration for this album was a breakup I went through back in July, and also how my life has changed since then.”
“That’s awesome!” Brooke replied, “oh my god this is so cool.”
I couldn’t stop smiling, I loved my fans, “it was really nice to talk to you Brooke!”
“You too!” Brooke chirped, “thank you.”
“No problem,” I smiled.
“Thanks for your question Brooke,” Josh spoke into the microphone, “and thanks for calling K105.7, have a good day!”
“Bye!” Brooke exclaimed before hanging up.
“Alright,” Josh leaned back in his chair, “let’s answer some of these questions from the website.”
“Let’s” I squirmed, and shifted trying to read the screen.
“Okay, this one’s from Brody in Jamestown, Virginia; he asks, “is it true you’re going on tour with A Rocket To The Moon and The Summer Set next spring?”
I chuckled at the thought, “that’d be amazing,” I answered, “but for now that’s just a rumor, sorry, but I’ll keep everyone updated on any shows posted.”
Riley now also held a laptop and scrolled trough a few pages, “here’s a good one,” she read, from Annemarie in Tempe, she asks, “what’s your biggest regret in life?”
The image of Brian and I kissing flashed through my memory, that was probably one of my biggest regrets but I wasn’t about to open my mouth and tell the world about that, especially not Eric.
“My biggest regret,” I pondered, “losing contact with my family,” I finally answered, “they weren’t always happy with my decisions in life, and especially not leaving college to tour the country with my ‘rockstar boyfriend.’”
“Interesting,” Riley shook her head, “oh here’s another good one, from Andrew in New York, What’s your favorite song off your album?”
“Most definitely ‘Dreamin’,” I replied, “I wrote that song before I even knew there’d be an album, it was one of the most flowly and fun songs to write and perform”
“Can we hear a little sample?” Josh asked.
“Sure,” I smirked,
“And you ask me what I’ve been doing lately…
Dreamin,
Dreamin of you,
Dreamin of, dreamin of you.
Thinkin,
Thinkin of you,
Thinkin of, dreamin of you.
Wishin,
Wishin I was more than dreamin,
Wishin I was more than dreamin.”
“I really like that,” Riley smiled, “very pretty.”
“Thank you!” I replied.
The phone flashed again, “another caller!” Josh hit ‘talk’ and introduced the station.
“Hey Britta, my names Alyssa from Houston, I just wanted to know; is it true you thought you were pregnant?”
My heart stopped, “who said that?” I asked.
“Well a little while ago after Pat and Kennedy’s accident I was on twitter and Pat tweeted; Man that rash did not look good, hope Britta’s okay and it’s not what she thinks.”
“He did not!” my jaw dropped.
“Oh he did,” Alyssa giggled, “and my mom’s a gyno and I figured if he was talking about a rash and ‘what you thought’ you probably thought you were preggo.”
“Oh wow,” I chucked, “you’re a smart girl, and yes there was a scare, but I’m not pregnant, well going by what I’m aware of now.”
Josh thanked Alyssa and she hung up, “well,” he wrinkled his brow again, “this is weird, Alyssa just asked if you were pregnant and Natasha from Kansas asks what you and Eric want to name your children, when you have them of course.”
“Weird,” I rolled my eyes, “actually there’s a funny story about that, ever since I was 13 I wanted to name my first daughter Kennedy Sophia, I guess that’d be awkward now.”
Everyone laughed, including Eric, “well what’s your second favorite name?” he asked.
“Tayla Ryann,” I replied blushing, “it’s like Taylor but with an ‘a’ and I like boy middle names for girls.”
“Girls with boy names are the best kind,” Riley winked, “trust me.”
Eric shook his head, “well we already agreed on our epic boy name remember?” he smiled.
“Oh of course,” I smiled thinking of the name I wanted to name my first son since forever; Eric loved it too, “Hawke Christopher.”
“How sick is that?” Eric laughed, “his name would be Hawke Halvorsen, intense stuff right there.”
“I like that,” Josh smiled, “Hawke, sick!”
We answered a few more questions before Josh clicked off the microphone and played “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha.
“You ready to perform?” Josh asked as I danced around the studio to my favorite song.
“I was born ready,” I replied and went back to singing.
* * *
“Alright guys, thank you for all the great questions,” Josh spoke into the microphone, “before we go Britta’s got one last song for us, this one’s called ‘Kennedy” people, go get it on iTunes.”
Eric started strumming the guitar and bobbing his head, I felt the tone set in and began to sing,
“He says goodbye like I’ll never see him again
And I love the fact that he’s still my best friend
He turned my world around with one look
And one day was all it took”
That was the part I’d written before we’d broken up…
“And soon I’d fallen
Oh and I fell hard
But baby when you hit the ground
It’s gonna leave some scars
So I can look back and smile
And think of you again,
But I have to wait for these wounds to heal and mend.”
The first chorus, after we broke up, I didn’t want to sound mean right off…
“And he calls me up
Just to say I love you
But what if I don’t answer?
He builds me up,
To break me down
But what if I don’t falter?”
Obviously I’d started this verse before we broke up…
“And yes I’d fallen
Oh and I fell hard
But baby when you hit the ground
It’s gonna leave some scars
So take back your apology
And get the hell away from me
Cause now, these wounds won’t heal,
And you can’t imagine how I feel.”
A little harsh, but I was completely crushed,
“It’s not a secret anymore
I’m broken crawling on the floor,
This day couldn’t get worse.
You chose the perfect time
To ruin it all.
So smile baby,
Smile baby,
Cause you got what you wanted,
Well didn’t you?”
Gabi would love the bridge…
“And forget I’d fallen
Oh forget it all
Cause baby when I hit the ground
I picked myself back up and walked away.
Don’t follow me,
Please oh please,
Just forget me,
Dear Kennedy…
Please forget me,
Dear Kennedy…”
I took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair, I hadn’t remembered how emotional performing that song made me, it felt good, not only the closure, but knowing I’d always have a part of him with me.
